“The Dalai Lama say that the world will be saved by Western woman. Not any women, perhaps not all women, but Burning Women. Women who have stepped out of silence and into the fullness of their power. Angry women who love the world and her creatures too much to let it be destroyed so thoughtlessly for a moment longer.
Burning woman is the heart and soul of revolution – inner and outer. She burns for change, she dances in the fire of the old, all while visioning and weaving the new.” ~ Lucy H. Pearce
*the future is female, as is more of the past than I was aware – by which I mean I have been following several spaces that celebrate women in the arts, science, culture and elsewhere, and I am overwhelmed by just how many women historically occupied those spaces yet were never taught, never celebrated, never brought into the light as artists, as composers, as writers, journalists, chemists, engineers.. the list goes on and on…and, I am burning.
In case you live under a rock and were unaware that 81-year-old Martha Stewart is this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover Model, now you know, and – you’re welcome. Or, whatever. Personally, I am a fan of Martha’s, a woman not unlike Hillary Clinton with regard to the outsized hatred she’s engendered in her life, although I’m not a watcher or reader of her shows, her books, her magazine, what have you (in fact, does she even have a show or magazine anymore?) so, basically, I’m not a fan fan. I simply admire her for being a smart, successful business woman with a great sense of humor, one who knows how to use the media in support of her businesses. Martha is also admirable for her resilience, for having survived, and thrived, despite pissing off a lot of tweeny lil men, enough to end up in prison for a pretty slim case of insider trading of a type that is so common in certain circles in NYC, and elsewhere, if the authorities wanted to they could spend all day and night every day prosecuting it. But, they don’t, and for good reason.
As for Sports Illustrated. Who cares? Oh right, a lot of people do. I guess? A lot of men do. First of all, the magazine should be called Men’s Sports Illustrated, because the number of women and girls whose photos and stories inhabit the pages – even a half century after Title IX was passed – are miniscule. Miniscule. Tiny. Itty-bitty. Small. Few and far between. So, let’s be honest and call it like it is: Men’s Sports Illustrated. That a nearly nude 18 – 28-year-old female graces the cover annually, usually, creating that year’s best-selling issue – pardon me, 18 – 28-year old primarily white female – is y’know, not a big deal unless I guess you’re either the female in question ($$ka-ching! $$) or a person who enjoys looking at nearly naked females, and given the ubiquity of naked women and girls on the internet (so I’ve heard), maybe it’s time to move on? Maybe?
For a millennium, men have held the majority of the buying and selling power in the world, but people like Martha Stewart have been changing that for some time now, and – a recommended read – Rebecca Traister’s All the SingleLadies outlines how that rising demographic of successful, experienced, often well-educated, working, middle and upper-class women are changing the overall paradigm, and not a minute too soon. I started The First Time Project because I was sick to death of reading and seeing stories of male sexual initiation. FFS, not another one! And, in the culture at large, women and girls are waking up to the power of having our own: our own money, stock portfolios, businesses, homes, investments, representation, ideas, choices, desires – and our own stories told, respected, believed, and acted upon. Do we still have a long way to go? Fuck yeah, we do.
Does Martha Stewart’s appearance on the cover of SI’s breathlessly anticipated swimsuit issue change anything? Maybe, maybe not. But it is a conversation starter, and conversations are good, ain’t dey? Yes, yes dey are. For example, answer this: why the fuck is there a swimsuit issue, at all? And if so, why not a mostly naked man at least every other year, arising from the surf in Hawaii or whatever TF they shoot these things. I could go for that. Would advertisers flee? Would reader-subscribers? We won’t know until it’s tried, now will we? Mix it TF up. And of course we can discuss the male gaze, the taken for granted, assumed male point of view, and gaaaaaaaze. Who is holding the camera, who is editing these magazines with their dearth of female athletes portrayed, who is determining what and who is newsworthy in a world that is – however incrementally – changing; this is a subject for conversation, for discussion, for consciousness raising – the late 1960s equivalent of ‘woke’.
I’ve also seen the response on social media to the cover, which response and conversation has tended to revolve around Martha’s ‘work’, as in Botox, face lifts, filler – as well as the amount of retouching required, retouching the editors do even to the 18-28-year-olds, btw, because no woman, not one, is perfect until she’s been heavily retouched. Interesting word that: re-touched, touched again. Hey, the most beautiful person I have ever known was my grandma, a woman I was named after and adored, a woman who adored me, although in a hands-off way because she and my grandfather believed in treating their grandchildren equally, as in equally hands-off. Sigh. Still, she was pretty special and – she had a face that most closely resembled a horse, or a mule – not, by any means, standard issue pretty. But oh, she was gorgeous, highly intelligent, with a lovely sense of humor. She was also incredibly patient and kind. I never, ever heard a word against anyone, ever, come out of her mouth. I intend to grow old as gracefully and naturally as my grandma, who was a role model extraordinaire – except perhaps for aping the whole not a bad word spoken part, which is probably, mostly not possible, but I’m trying! I might, I just might have a dollop of my to-the-grave grudge-holding paternal grandfather in me. I might. And, once again, other pals of mine are going another route, as they are free to choose for themselves how to age, and hooray for that. One good friend had some kind of Botox-like injection to her upper lip, and was unable to drink through a straw for a week, which made us both laugh, as she so loves her big slurpy iced coffee drinks.
We all have to find our own way, and make our own choices, in a world that is often very cruel, very unforgiving and harsh, toward women as they age. As we raise our personal consciousnesses, as we let go of the ideas we had of ourselves as we once were, as we let go of cultural expectations, of fear, and of our precious egos (William Saroyan on the subject of aging, and death: everybody has to do it, but I always believed an exception would be made in my case), we make our way toward a wrinkled no matter what end. No one gets out of here alive, and no one really wants to get out young, regardless of the beautiful corpse concept. And truthfully, we are the same at age six as we are at age sixty, or ninety; our character, our temperament, our spirit, remains the same.
Robert DeNiro just had another child with his current partner at 79. Seventy-nine. Whatever. What’s sauce for the goose…
And if we must continue these outdated, ridiculous traditions, ones like an annual partly naked person on a sports magazine’s cover, let’s at least change it up, of which this latest gambit is step one. If we must, and – must we? Since Covid, since the weird last several years, can we not upend and alter a number of ancient, creaking, stale and moldy traditions – like inequality and unequal outcomes in healthcare and housing, like crippling student debt, like overpaying CEOs, while underpaying workers, teachers and nurses, like not having universal healthcare in the U.S., like not having paid family leave mandated federally, like paying too much for prescription drugs, like a broken congress, like the filibuster, like having only nine justices on the Supreme Court when we no longer have nine courts of appeals, but thirteen – and don’t you think thirteen is a nice uneven number? Ah! A woman can dream. The tradition of wedding bouquets and father of the bride dances can be toileted as well, in my opinion, as for white lace or satin dresses – puhleeeze – but I won’t get my hopes up, at least not for another decade or so.
Hey, I say go for it, Miss Kostyra (Martha’s maiden name), do whatever floats your boat. She certainly can take the heat she is getting; she has handled it well for decades. Practically my favorite thing about Martha Stewart is that she is, actually, friends with Snoop Dogg, which is perfect. And she did start her career as a model, back in the day. Jersey Girls Rule.
Here’s a link (below) to a survey of how many/often women – sans the swimsuit issue – have been featured on SI’s covers, it’s from 2013 but I figure nothing mich has changed since then, but again – a woman can hope.
So, basically, I listen to all of the POD Save America Podcasts, because I am a politics junkie and nerd-girl and what could be better than to listen to a bunch of smart, funny people talk about several of my obsessions? And, last week one of the many hosts on PSA (clearly, trying to be provocative, but still!) blamed the fall of Roe v. Wade on Ruth Bader Ginsburg. That’s right, it’s all Ruth’s fault, because she didn’t retire early in Obama’s second term. FFS, WTF? A liberal, white male pundit is saying RBG is at fault for the fall of Roe? I’ve been stewing on this ever since, because no. No. And just fuck no. The conversational context, to be clear, was the imminent return of Dianne Feinstein to the senate after an extended absence, during which the GOP members of the Judiciary Committee of the US Senate refused to move numerous appointments to the Federal Judiciary forward on an almost evenly divided committee that, lacking Feinstein’s single vote to appoint, was stuck at an entirely even 50-50. Please, please, puh-leeze blame those intransigent conservative fuckers, not Dianne Feinstein, FFS. And, blaming a woman – Feinstein or Bader Ginsberg – for what mostly male Senators, justices, legislators, donors to and members of the Federalist Society, religious leaders, and male everything else in power have done to squash Roe (including creating a Senate where the rules overwhelmingly advantage small states, and white male power), is classic patriarchy. Coming from a liberal voice – a gay white male, no less – simply added insult to injury, but just because a man is liberal, or gay, or a professional pundit re: politics doesn’t mean he isn’t infected with the same biases we all have, including misogyny.
And, this is how the patriarchy works. Patriarchy 101. Blame women. (Or POC, or the Poor, or Gays, or Drag Queens … it’s all the same, really) Blame women who are victims of sexual assault for wearing the wrong outfit or being out at night; blame E. Jean Carroll for entering a store with Trump (I’m still working on getting the sound of the crowd’s laughter at the CNN Town Hall re: sexual assault out of my head); blame Hillary Clinton for Bill Clinton’s infidelities; blame Feinstein for – after a lifetime of public service – not getting out of the way; blame RBG for wanting to do her job to the last moment possible, largely because she wanted to see a female president appoint her successor (like a lot of other people, RBG underestimated the power of misogyny, and misinformation, assuming Hillary Clinton would win the election in 2016). Blame women for the many ways in which our political system is set up to keep those in power in power, which includes, at this late date, a mere handful of women like Feinstein. Gasp!
Call the Violence Against Women Act the Violence Against Women Act, when its purpose is to eradicate, reduce, punish and find solutions for male violence against women, a clever trick of language that erases male responsibility. I want and need to do a deep dive to find out if the original writers of the act believed the it would never pass if you added that language, making men own their gender’s actions? And please, please, please – don’t go there with ‘but not all men’. Not all men, sure, but far too many. Reminds me of that mental trick: ask yourself how many women do you know personally who have been raped, stalked, assaulted, harassed, abused, or groped; now, how many men do you know who are rapists, gropers, stalkers etc., and why it is that no one seems to know any of these men?
Do I wish Feinstein had retired last year, or the year previous, or had simply not run again? Sure. And, feminism at its core is about empowering women (and men, for that matter) wherever they are, whoever they are, to make their own choices without judgement, with freedom, and with the support of individuals, organizations, and our society at large. And, feminism’s mission is to fight the real enemy of equality for all, which ain’t a couple of old ladies in the Legislative or Judicial branches of our government, but rather are the many entrenched misogynistic (and racist, and homophobic, and, and, and) biases and inequalities baked into our systems of justice, policy, religion, finance, education, and government.
If blame we must – and don’t we love to play the blame game – how about we blame Mitch McConnell for refusing even to meet with Merrick Garland, stonewalling his nomination to the Supreme Court in 2016? How about we blame Mitch as well for flipping that script, shoving through Dumpster Fire’s nomination of the handmaid’s tale dream date Amy Coney Barrett at the last possible moment? How about we blame the lying sacks of crap (Kavanaugh and Gorsuch), who swore under oath that they respected and would uphold precedent, including Roe, at their Senate confirmation hearings? How about we blame that conservative Catholic prick Sammy Alito, who quoted 15th century jurisprudence for part of his decision on Roe? A fifteenth Century British Jurist quoted in America in 2022?!? You can’t make this shit up, people. Or how about we blame yet another conservative Catholic, this time Leonard Leo, and his billions along with every other member of the Federalist Society for wanting to control women’s bodies, choices, and futures, claiming it’s because they believe in the ‘sanctity of life’ – while at the same time that exclusive club of mostly rich, white males promote judges, politicians, policies and laws that would fundamentally undermine or eradicate Social Security, Medicaid, Food Stamps (SNAP), and WIC? FEH.
Fuck that shit and those shitty men. RBG was and is an icon, who – along with Dianne Feinstein – may have stayed too long at the party. And, that was her right. Sigh.
And, while I think men (in power, especially) need to fix the fucking problems men have created, feminism at its core is about equity for everyone, freeing women and men from the idiocies and literal harms of the patriarchy. Here’s a link to yet another recent podcast I listened to entitled The Problem with Boys and Men, featuring two white men in what is, regardless, a great discussion re: the challenges and solutions we’re all facing (we are, all of us, in this together) in case you’re interested. I think Richard Reeves has a lot of good points, although I disagree with a few of them and find it maddening how, as the tables turn, men are unable to help themselves out of the trench they’ve dug. Still, it’s vitally important to know what’s being done, being thought, on all sides, and to dig deeper regardless of what issue is being discussed, and how passionately nauseous I feel about the ‘but men are suffering’ and ‘not all men’ narrative lines. Of course, not all men, and of course men are suffering! Rigid gender roles, ancient, unchanging role models for what men can and cannot be and do, harms everyone, women, girls, boys and men: all of us. Humanism 101. Gosh, I spy a theme.
The best take I heard re: this week’s CNN Town Hall starring the twice-impeached reality TV entertainer whose name I shall not mention: one thing we learned from the event that all parents already know, is that we don’t leave two-year-olds unsupervised for more than a few minutes. I add to that take only to say that it’s especially true when the two-year old in question is a compulsive liar, in a room full of cameras and sycophants on live TV. The audience, all members of the GQP, with a few Indys mixed in, were given explicit instructions that while they were free to applaud, they were not, ever, to boo.
Okay. I agree. To quote an actually competent former President: Don’t boo, vote.
Also, in case you missed it this week, Texas State Representative Bryan Slaton, a Republican resigned from office after being caught with, essentially, his pants down. Here’s a link to his anti-LGBTQ legislation, form 2022. Oops. The tales of conservative, Christian creeps like this guy being total hypocrites are kinda boring, they’re so routine. And, I post this here because outing patriarchal creeps (he’s resigning and looking forward “to spending more time with his family” LOL) feels good. #DivorceYourRepublicanHusbandMrsBSlatonEdition
the link: https://www.dallasobserver.com/news/bryan-slaton-to-file-bill-banning-drag-shows-in-presence-of-minors-latest-texas-republican-anti-lgbt-crackdown-14160924
The article excerpted below is From the Texas Tribune, with reporting done by James Barragan
Rep. Bryan Slaton resigned from the Texas House on Monday after an investigation determined that he had an inappropriate sexual relationship with a 19-year-old woman on his staff, providing her with enough alcohol before their encounter that she felt dizzy and had double vision. Pressure had mounted on the Royse City Republican to resign since Saturday, when the House General Investigative Committee released a 16-page report finding Slaton, who is 45 and married, had engaged in inappropriate sexual conduct with his aide. The committee of three Republicans and two Democrats recommended that Slaton be the first state representative expelled from the body since 1927.
***The below is from the actual report, which is linked but, to save you time, ultimately reads like a lengthy high school text message thread, which makes sense, as this dickwad Slaton is clearly one entitled, incredibly immature white dude, attracted to teenagers because emotionally and psychologically they are right on his level:
I. Proceedings of the Committee
1. This proceeding was initiated by the filing of multiple complaints naming Representative Bryan L. Slaton as respondent and alleging that he engaged in conduct violating a House rule, the Housekeeping Resolution, or House Policy and engaged in inappropriate workplace conduct, specifically conduct constituting sexual harassment and retaliation. The complaints were made by:
a. Hannah W.,2 a 21-year-old intern in the Capitol office of Representative #1, dated April 10, 2023.
b. Emily J.,3 a 19-year-old legislative aide in the Capitol office of Representative #1, dated April 11, 2023.
c. Sophie A.,4 a 19-year-old legislative aide in the Capitol office of Representative Bryan Slaton, dated April 20, 2023.
Each complainant signed and submitted a complaint under penalty of perjury.
***back to the article: Slaton’s resignation, however, may not stop a planned Tuesday vote on a House resolution expelling him from office.
Rep. Andrew Murr, a Junction Republican who leads the investigative committee, said Monday that he still plans to call up the resolution that he drafted and filed on Saturday. “Though Representative Slaton has submitted his resignation from office, under Texas law he is considered to be an officer of this state until a successor is elected and takes the oath of office to represent Texas House District 2,” Murr wrote on Facebook.
Slaton did not address the inappropriate relationship that led to his downfall in his resignation letter to Gov. Greg Abbott, saying instead that he looked forward to spending more time with his young family. He was not on the House floor Monday. State Rep. Steve Toth, R-The Woodlands, blasted Slaton for not apologizing in the letter, calling it ‘inconceivable’. “His resignation gave no apology to the young woman he violated, his wife whom he betrayed or his district that he failed,” Toth said on social media. “No remorse. No acceptance of responsibility. He’s the victim that rides off in to the sunset. That was the resignation of a narcissist.”
In a statement, Republican Party of Texas Chair Matt Rinaldi commended the House for responding swiftly to “the reprehensible actions of Representative Slaton,” which were first reported in early April. He said the misconduct detailed in the report “should never be tolerated and is proper grounds for expulsion.” “These actions have betrayed the trust that the people of Representative Slaton’s district put in him as an elected official, and he has rightly resigned,” Rinaldi said. “We are encouraged that this investigation signals that the House has entered a new era of accountability where all members will be held to the same fair and high standards.”
Calls for Slaton’s resignation had grown since the report’s release Saturday. Over the weekend, two of the three Republican parties for the counties he represents asked him to step down, and more than half of the 62-member State Republican Executive Committee had done the same by Sunday night. By Monday, even some of Slaton’s closest supporters had left his side. Texas Right to Life, a staunchly anti-abortion group that was a key supporter of Slaton’s political campaigns, revoked its endorsement in the morning, saying it was a “Christian organization” that held its staff, board members, scholarship recipients and political endorsees to high moral standards. “In light of recent reports and the findings of the Texas House General Investigating Committee, Texas Right to Life PAC has decided to formally revoke our endorsement of Representative Bryan Slaton and is praying for a biblical response for all those involved,” Kimberlyn Schwartz, a spokesperson for the group, wrote in a statement. (*WTAF is a biblical response?! The skies parting, the sea? Will Slaton be turned into a pillar of salt?)
Slaton was among the most socially conservative lawmakers in the chamber and had been one of this session’s loudest voices for cracking down on drag shows and decrying drag artists as “groomers” who want to sexualize kids. The committee report said Slaton had invited the 19-year-old woman to his Austin apartment late March 31 and gave her a large cup of rum and coke, then refilled it twice — rendering her unable to “effectively consent to intercourse and could not indicate whether it was welcome or unwelcome.” In other questionable actions, Slaton also provided alcohol to the aide and another woman under the age of 21 on several occasions, the report said. The report also alleged that after Slaton and the woman had unprotected sex in the early hours of April 1, Slaton drove her home, and she later went to a drugstore to purchase Plan B medication to prevent a pregnancy. Slaton, a staunch abortion opponent, later tried to intimidate the woman and her friends into not speaking about the incident, the report said.
On Sunday, the Texas House Freedom Caucus, a group that includes some of the most socially conservative lawmakers in the chamber who are usually politically aligned with Slaton, also called for his resignation. “The abhorrent behavior described in the report requires clear and strong action,” the caucus said in a statement. “He should resign. If he does not, we will vote to expel him Tuesday.” Later that night, 36 members of the 62–member State Republican Executive Committee, party activists who help set the agenda for the party, also called for his resignation, calling his conduct “wrong and unacceptable.” They were joined by the party’s vice chair, Dana Myers, and secretary Vergel Cruz. Three more committee members who could not be reached Sunday night added their names to the call for resignation Monday morning. At least three lawmakers had already called for Slaton’s resignation before the report’s release: Reps. Toth, Briscoe Cain, R-Deer Park, and Ana-Maria Ramos, D-Richardson. Cain and Toth are members of the Freedom Caucus.
Also on Monday, the Young Conservatives of Texas joined the calls for Slaton to resign and urged the House to follow the committee’s recommendation without hesitation if he did not. “The Young Conservatives of Texas fully support his expulsion and will score the vote in our legislative ratings,” the group wrote in a statement. Abbott must call a special election to fill the vacancy for House District 2, but that election cannot happen before the legislative session ends on Memorial Day. That means Slaton’s constituents will be left without representation for the final days of the session.
I had, and have, another blog to post – but, it can wait – as yet another gun massacre in Texas has me once again furious, sad, distraught, and fed right-the-fuck-up with these callous, stupid originalists and gun-huggers who think the framers meant everyone should be armed in this country. JHFC.
19,000 children in the U.S. annually are either killed or wounded due to gun violence. This has got to stop. we have been telling our children since Columbine that guns, and the ‘freedom’ to own them with very little interference, matter more than they do.
Clearly, the only thing Americans really near to fear is no longer fear itself, but one another – armed to the teeth, and with legislators in too many places willing to let the carnage continue indefinitely. #Vote Blue #GunControlNow
